At around 6:15 pm, I start making my pleasant walk home. It’s a breezy 65 degrees and it feels fantastic. But just as I start to enjoy my walk, I see a car.
The car was a brand new Mercedes sedan. Swerving all over the road at speeds that easily top 25 mph over the speed limit, I can picture the driver as one of those lucky girls from MTV’s Sweet Sixteen.
But as the driver starts to slow down and point the vehicle directly at me, I see a face through the gap in the wood grain steering wheel. It belongs to an 85+ year-old corpse.
Her forehead literally pressed against the steering wheel, she slid off of the road, but managed to right the vehicle before slamming into an embankment.
Then, two weeks later I read an article about a 101 year old woman who renewed her drivers license. That’s when I came up with my plan: to amputate the right foot of anyone who even thinks about driving after their 65th birthday.
This may seem harsh, but consider these q’s and a’s. Need groceries? Get on the bus. No public transportation? Get a cab. No money for a cab? Start ebaying your stuff (your kids are gonna hack it all someday, you might as well use it.)
Frankly, I wouldn’t have cared if the woman in the mercedes had just caught her hair on fire with Aquanet and was rushing to the emergency room. If she almost kills a few dozen people on the way there, then maybe it was just her time to go.
The question is more of the kind, if you cannot walk without a cane, why would you be able to go faster than 20 mph??
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mandel reblogged this from plainclothesman and added:
The question is more...you cannot walk without...cane, why...
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plainclothesman posted this
